Lust Car Crash

Illustration by Laura Buckell

Poem by Tumi Fani-Kayode

Lust Car Crash

There is now an ocean between us,
Deep and wide,
Like how you made me feel.

There is now an ocean between us,
Glistening and spontaneous,
Like how you made me feel.

There is a sun on both our horizons,
Bright beams of light,
Shining me to you,
Like in your smile.

In your smile, I felt comfortable,
In your eyes,
I felt vulnerable,
In your presence, my present felt wonderful,
In your touch,
In your touch,
In your touch, I felt powerful.

A beautiful mess,

In your face a universe,
In your face an innocence,
In your face, my powerlessness.

In your stride a powerful prowess,
In your gait, I was forced to talk less,
In your moves a melody,
In your curves a dynasty,
Thighs around mine,
Belted, buckled to me.

In your eyes,
Your eyes,
so big brown beautiful.
In your body,
Your body,
so tender, round, magical.
My soul filled,
Feelings of wonder, feelings of full.

Wander lust,
A massive crush,
My rib cage unfastened,
Fragility unbelted,
Defences unprotected,

I should have known better.  

A car screech,
A skid mark,
Time stopped, then moved too fast,
Pain quickly,
Came quickly,
Our lust story ended in a car crash.

I could have been there for you,
But I crumbled under your fear of the intangible,
And you,
Well you,
I knew I would never again hear from you.

I wonder if you wonder too,
If I had been persistent with an eye on you,
Or if you had let yourself be vulnerable,
And that first sun and smile brought us to one from two.

It is probably best too,
For me you were too powerful,
You made me too gullible,
Now my head bellowed, body been black, mind now blue.

In truth I am thankful,
I have to say thank you,
I forgot that feeling and to feel,
isn’t that beautiful?

You know who you are,
and I know that I am welcome,
You are a queen amongst queens in earth’s crazy king-dom,
You awoke a peace in me that I never before welcomed,
And as a result I’m calmer, more focused, refreshed, restored.

I wanted what I couldn’t have but now I’m just grateful,
To be myself and honestly live life in a world of hypocrisy and Satan,
I hope you don’t blame me for the crash because I do not blame you,
But I’ll never again forget to wear a safety belt around women like you.

The Author

Tumi is an actress represented by IAG for TV and film. In her spare time she writes poetry and engages in political debate. Most recently, she has promoted awareness of a petition to raise the age of consent in Nigeria from 11 to 18.

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